Lesbian Palm Tree Bondage

Now that I have your attention, here is my translation of a horticultural text concerning how to cure palm trees of their undying infatuation with one another.  It’s quite a famous piece amongst my friends and associates, although this translation is fuller than the one I have previously supplied to them.  This is the second of my intermittent blogging translation series in which I translate bits of rather weird Classical Arabic for the general amusement of the kind of people who read my blog, the first being the bat text. NABATAEAN AGRICULTURE Ibn Wahshiyya, 960 Palm trees are similar to … Continue reading Lesbian Palm Tree Bondage

Today, we’re going to play with Missiles!

And I am back, after a brief hiatus.  Meanwhile, my prediction of the Jamahiriya’s 42nd birthday has been abundantly fulfilled, and I’ve unaccountably managed to get myself quite a lot of freelance work, much of which involved tight deadlines.  It is this which has lamentably taken the edge off my ability to blog.  But I have returned now to present you with a post about MATHS, and in particular the language of maths.  For all that I blog about (and am fiercely obsessed by) politics, I am also fascinated by linguistics, and I can no longer bear that the most … Continue reading Today, we’re going to play with Missiles!

The Pooh-Bear Effect

Yin day, when Christopher Robin and Winnie-the-Pooh and Wee Grumphie were aw haein a crack thegither, Christopher Robin said lichtsomely, “I saw a Huffalamp, the-day, Wee Grumphie.” “Whit wis it daein?” spiered Wee Grumphie. “Jist lampin alang,” said Christopher Robin. “I dinna think it saw me.” This afternoon my mother and I were listening to some radio station or other and we came across the news that Winnie the Pooh has been translated into the Scots language.  What’s more, there seems to be a great proliferation of articles on this all over the web.  This is important because the Scots … Continue reading The Pooh-Bear Effect